Used To

I'm used to a lot of things.

I'm used to a torrent of emotions

I'm used to waiting for them

to change on their own

I'm used to not owning my

emotions or choices to change things

and recently

I may have gotten used to

not being myself.

Maybe I had to get used to that -

to being another person I didn't

necessarily know, or like -

in order to make the choice

to change my emotions.

To get used to better things.

~August 2010

Bulb

My brain is a black lightbulb

waiting to burn out.

Break its shard shell

and let in the light

that I cannot seem to

turn on myself.

~August 2010

Sails

What a treacherous sea I sail
in my boat of fear.
Perched on its glass bottom,
I can never be sure
if I am safe from the wide waters
that lie below me,
swarming with every possibility.
My gaze is fixed.
No regard for what sky
may spread above me,
or what sails may take me there.

~August 2010