Lighter Dark Blue

I think I can see something
just over the horizon
like maybe a little lighter dark blue
in my darkest blues ever
but it might hurt my eyes
I think I'll close them
a little longer

~November 11, 2011

Being

Now I see
that what I really couldn’t stand
was being myself with you
was it just too vulnerable
or was I too selfish
or was your potential dislike
so close to the surface
that I could see it when I looked at you?
Or was I only seeing me
stuck with my own
bad
idea
not
being myself
but
being with you.

~November 11, 2011

Yes to Now

The spaces of relationships
I've left behind
trail me like huge
cavernous seed pods
in which I could get caught
in the echoes of what I thought
they could grow

carnivorous seed pods

I can't stop writing this idea
like a song stuck in your mind
the things I thought I wanted are
the only things I seem to think about

because those thoughts are caught
in the structures of songs
shades of grey sky
the weave of my clothing,
only I can't see my thoughts
I can't pick out the stitches you sewed
or make the sun shine into my mind
or stop listening to tragic love songs.
Maybe that's ok
maybe saying yes to now
is not saying yes to forever

~November 11, 2011